Log in

No account? Create an account

angie. gets hit with flowers that tall


angie. gets hit with flowers that tall


September 27th, 2009

I've been giving a lot of thought to moving back home.
I feel so caught in the middle about the whole ordeal.
I think to myself that I need to stay here (in Toronto) so I can grab a hold of myself and learn to "grow."
Whatever that means.

Then I try to picture myself back in Mississauga, I just don't see it.
As much as I feel comfortable being home I just don't see myself living life.
I feel almost dead.
At least in Toronto I'm angry.

I don't know which is better...or worse in that matter.

I just did this all wrong.
I should have stayed home and finished up school with a lot of money saved in my pockets.

However, I will have to restart my independence somehow.

I guess this is what being "restless" is all about.

Wish me luck?


September 13th, 2009

I decided to come back to Livejournal for the time being.
My actual diary is almost done and so I'm waiting to do a D.I.Y. night with a friend of mine.
We're going to bind our own books.
It should be fun.
I'm hoping it'll turn out like something below....

I have this stupid need to create shit but like always, I have no stupid money to purchase shit.
BUT, BUT, BUT I am getting more hours at work. I guess my manager likes me or something.
It's weird, at work, when I'm with fellow employees I feel like I'm on top of the world and I get into one of my personas.

I do this thing where I begin to talk with accents and shit.
It's bizarre, now that I think about it.
Some girl after work asked why I talk with a Boston accent.

I really should get into acting or something.

Okay so goals for the year:
1. Save money to go on vacation
2. Save money to buy a laptop
3. Take acting classes

Anyways, I should get going.
I'm still madly in luv with this stupid boy who can handle me only when he's severely drunk.
Oh geez, how unfortunate.



August 31st, 2009

Good-bye is too good of a word babe.....


I really don't like living in Toronto anymore.

I don't have any friends really.

There is no one I can randomly call without worrying if I'm calling too much.

It's not that I'm sad I'm just frustrated.

And I don't know, personally I don't like feeling like shit.

It's just my opinion.
I'm really tired of being self-conscious around people.

I had a conversation with Amber about it and it felt like a lot of actions were "justified" by people's up-bringing.
Well, I can understand that but remember, my up-bringing wasn't any better for me either but at least I don't act that way.

I had a party recently and I didn't want to be there at all.
My friends from Mississauga came and I felt SO fucking relieved.
We shared sandwiches.
It was fucking fantastic.
I didn't want to leave my room at all.
I didn't have to worry about talking.

I didn't have to worry at all.
It was better when Amber came along because well, everyone is WAY closer to her than me so yeah...it was a natural flow.
Or something like that.
I don't know. I don't really give a shit anymore.
Like I said, I'm not sad or anything. I know I'm not interesting to them nor do I do anything interesting. It's okay, if I was as educated as them in certain areas I'd brush myself off too.

Like I don't even know what to say to anyone half of the time. Which is funny in a way I suppose.
Once in awhile, I'll think that it's all in my head so the few random times I actual feel like myself, I get the reaction and smack my own hand for it.


I kind of just want to dance for awhile and move to forget.

It's not like I'm attacking people or trying to offend them, it's just that I don't know who I'm suppose to be around people anymore.




August 26th, 2008

I haven't been on this for quite sometime.

So um...this is kind of awkward actually. HAHHAHA.

Well I've officially become a server at Pickle Barrel and I just got a job at H&M which makes me nervous but nonetheless I am excited.

I'm applying for a volunteer position at L'Oreal Fashion Week again.
This school year is going to be my last one and I'm super excited. I feel so motivated to do amazing this year for some odd reason.

Oh yeah, I went to a psychic and she pretty much made me stop having a quarter life crisis. HAHHAHA
Her predictions:
-Successful move by November
-Next 18 months are going to be amazing for me
-I have a lot of creative energy but no outlet
-I'm suppose to meet someone in October (HAHAHAHA)
-My dad isn't dying
-I have an angel watching me
-Will have a girl and boy (weird)
-I will be married late 20s/early 30s (again weird)
There was some more shit added but whatever.

I just need to get the fuck out of Brampton.

And I fucking love clubbing so damn much.
Oh and I got hit on by a girl.
It was weird.


May 21st, 2008

keep me coming back...

Okay, so now I don't know what to do with my money (once I actually make some, duh).

I REALLY wanna move to England and live there for like...forever.
But I would also like to backpack through Europe.

I wish I had better planned my finances at a very young age.
I'm definitely keeping all of my kid's money and storing it away forever in some bank and giving it to him when he's 18 and making him go travel on his own through Europe.

Everyone should do it.
Like seriously.
Maybe I should just become a teacher.

You get 3 whole months to travel.
I should have better thought out my career too.

Oh yeah, I got an interview at FCUK today.
I like their clothes, like alot.
For some odd reason.



April 24th, 2008


I've been hooked on this game this whole past week.


Tomorrow I'm off to play tennis, hopefully.



April 8th, 2008

i believe...

So Sarah just told me about half an hour ago that Vince, the boy I was head over heels for not too long ago, is in fact GAY.

Story of my fucking life.

The one time I decide to ignore my gaydar I get smacked across the face with this, this revelation of his!
That's it, I'm done with boys.
I might as well be gay myself.
Too bad I'm not asexual.

I feel INCREDIBLY stupid.
I feel so embarrassed.

Even though this whole thing was over and done with a while ago I just don't know how to deal with it.

I spoke with Nicole.
I feel like I made him gay even though I know I didn't.
I feel like I turned him off from all girls.

In the end I was essentially rejected, again.

I can't think of a bigger sign that I am going to be single forever.
I am going to die alone.
This is really depressing.
And I dislike being depressed.

I feel so many things all at once.
Stupidity, embarrassment, anger, confusion.
The combination of these all have left me to doubt a lot of things in regards to the opposite sex.

This is going to take awhile for me to get over this even though it shouldn't at all.


March 26th, 2008

day dream...

So yeah, I had a revelation.
I'm not going to finish my program because it's WAY too boring and I didn't realize how constricted I was in it in regards to my creative outlet.

So with that in mind I think I'm going to get into advertising. I'm looking at OCAD as the school of choice or Seneca. HAHAHAHA

So with that all figured out, life feels a lot better.

The only other thing that is really annoying me at this moment is Luisa and Sarah.
All of a sudden they're best friends again.
That's cool.
But the next time Sarah complains to me about that nasty whore I will probably rip my eyes out and feed them to the crows.
Whatevs yo!
Only 23 more days left!!!

I don't even wanna go to my exams or anything.
Anyways, I'm a bounce!

Powered by LiveJournal.com